The Legends of Zelda XXI: the best quotes from Crawldaddy

Hmm.

I've decided to temporarily update this blog for the sake of the good old days when I had so much fun shooting Zelda down. I've always been a gentleman, I tell you, always have been:


'What CAN you do Zelda??? Apart from irritating people I mean...'

'I think it's for the sake of the everyone's good you just shut up right now and spare the innocent people Zelda....'

'It's obvious, Zelda. I standing here, which means I haven't died yet right?

'Riiight... worth millions of what? Piles of shit?'

'Yeah, You wouldn't want to get hit on your face, which is worth *millions* right?'

'Umm, well, if it makes you fell better, we never want to sit next to you anyway.'

'Ok, have you finished yet? Cuz I'd like you to leave us alone now.'

'No comment'

'Oh, if you don't know, then you can just keep wondering. Yeah, keep wondering, and you can let us have some peace as we read this book, ok?'

'Ok, truth to tell, when I first saw it from back down the corridor, I said to myself "Who put that piece of rubbish on top of the display shelf?" you know?'

'I've been wanting to ask you, erm, Zelda, when are you going to remove that... that... that thing from the studio?'

'Zelda, just one thing, remove this piece of sh*t (the massive wallet) before someone else does... ok?'

Z: 'What's that?'
C: 'Food.'
Z: 'I know.. but what kind of food?'
C: 'Cake'
Z: 'Yah, I know it is cake.. but what kind of cake?'
C: 'Dunno'
Z: 'You are eating it but you donch KNOW what it is???'
C: 'Good food'


Once again, thanks to all the folks who have enjoyed the LOZ, and let us all pray very hard a miracle will be performed when one day we need not have to bother setting up a blog which documents the worst in such people (if we can even categorise such an individual as a 'person'). Ah, what the heck.. it was fun anyway.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy

The Legends Of Zelda XX

Hmm.

Well, I've reached the 2oth edition of The Legends of Zelda and I have to say it's been quite a long time since I started this whole series of posts. Truth to tell, things have been stagnating (and I'm not complaining, because that's a sign of improvement for the big Z) and I think it's high time I retired this blog.

Alot of us know that the big Z caught wind of this blog not too recently, and it's not because of some kind of pressure from that whole thing which arises to this point in the Marauding Tone Zone's history. The simple truth is that I have been planning this whole closure since the tenth post, and fate has given me enough grace to carry out this closure.

Another thing which I learnt from my one-and-a-half-years at Nanyang Poly is that maybe I should stop being a hypocrite and start practising what I've been ridiculing the big Z for all this time: which is to move on and grow, and learn from our mistakes.

My mistake is I didn't realise that there isn't any point in focusing on the dumb aspects of life (e.g. the big Z) and there isn't any point dwelling on it. Sure it was fun while it lasted, but there are much better things to work on and spending my energy on besides bothering with such unworthy characters.

Also, the part about being a hypocrite is to not be like certain characters within my class who constantly poke fun at people whom I have little idea about, and basing our judgement only on the worst aspects of people. As the saying goes, 'a man is not judged by his best output, but his worst mistakes'.

I will not fall into that trap, and I thank God for enlightening me, and Alvin for sharing the jokes.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy

The Legends Of Zelda XIX

Hmm.

Okay... classic stuff right here on my blog...


An exerpt direct, word for word from the Big Z's blog (with some censoring):

haha..... was thinking abt tat reali lame n unglam blog tat (my name) wrote abt me..... firstly i m soooo disappointed loh..... cos if ur writing sumthing abt me the skin shld b better loh..... tat skin for tat blog is kinda ugly wif a capital U loh..... if u need help in choosing blog skins pls seek my advice..... esp if tat blog is abt me..... all i hv to sae abt dis idiot is tat he is freaking obnoxious wif a huge captial O..... ani wae when wei ting told me..... i was laughing liao loh..... it is so amusing loh..... i dunno if i shld b flattered or flatten loh..... i guess i shld write one abt the huge hooked nose idiot (my name)..... well his nose is realli huge n it looks lyk a birds beak(vulture probably)..... haha..... he shld go for extreme makeover..... highly recommended for him..... well..... i hv told ppl if u dun lyk me juz sae it in my face..... dun hv to waste ur time gossiping or doing dose realli dumb things behind my back..... n ppl hv done so..... nt onli the person feel better..... i oso noe who are my "enermies"..... who in the end b cum frens..... but do u think i ll befren dis weirdo?? u shld noe the answer loh..... i feel it is the most despicable n OBNOXIOUS thing to do loh.....i would lyk to thank jessie 4 bing the first person in the poly to tell wad eva she didnt lyk abt me in the face..... thnx..... if u cant handle dis person..... juz shut the f**k up n get on wif life..... will ya..... i m lyk tat..... i tell wad eva i lyk straight in the face..... long time frens noe hw i live life..... if u wanna play the game..... i ll play wif u..... n i ll do it 10X worse..... tats me..... 我的报仇性很强..... wan me to translate..... it means..... i hv a rather strong revengement spirit..... did u hear abt the story tat i beat my sec skool classmate..... hmmm..... where is tommy liao.....go figure moron.....


Well, I figured a few things:

1. This blog is not meant to glamourise zelda, but rather show how ridiculous she is as a person.
2. It is true I have a curved nose, and there's no point in denying or trying to downplay how curved my nose is.
3. I wouldn't mind going for an extreme makeover.. as long as someone would be willing to sponsor me.
4. "did u hear abt the story tat i beat my sec skool classmate".. ooh violent tendencies.
5. I set up this blog so she can kiss my ass if she wants a blogskin change.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy

The Legends Of Zelda XVIII

Hmm.

Today, I was just sitting at the computer in block M level 6, and a couple of girls from class two were sitting at an opposite terminal, working on their Rapid Prototyping project... which is a group project (I believe).

Anyway, as I'm researching the various social statistics of Singapore, up comes the Big Z clutching a powder-blue pillow with a cartoon airliner splashed acrossed it's front. I suppose she was expecting the girls to squeal in delight at the pillow, which might have been cute (I'd have no idea because I'm almost blind to how cute a thing may be... with the exception of people) for all I care, but I guess she might not have been severely disappointed.

After standing there for about ten seconds, Sian Lee decided to break the awkward silence by asking her:

SL: 'What's that?' (in chinese)

Z: 'Cushion lah! i had to sign up for *blah blah blah* down at the atrium and I had to *blah blah blah* so that i could get it. Cute hor???'

Crawldaddy: *shudder*

Bei Zi: 'Ok lah'

Z: 'because *blah blah blah* at changi airport, and they have a new budget airline *blah blah blah* and I singed up for the opening ceremony, and then they will unveil the name of the airline'

SL: 'orhh, so have to sign up then can get the cushion izzit? Why don't you go sign up some more, then can help us get more cushions? wahahaha'

C: *sly grin*

BZ: 'hahaha'

Z: 'HAHAHAHAHA.. no lah, can only sign up one time'

All this while, with the appearance of the Big Z, Jace had been trying to maintain the participation of her group.. needless to say with all the distractions, her face turned black, and she then slumped forwards dejectedly.

(ok, the following does not suggest I'm a dirty old bastard, neither does it mean I'm a pervert)

As Jace was wearing a rather low-cut top, when she bent forward, I almost went blind from the sight, so I pointed this out to her:

C: 'Uhh, Jace, please lean backwards... I'm about to go blind already'

J: *embarrassed grin*, proceeds to lean backwards.

it just so happens that the Big Z then came in with a Lime magazine and caused Sian Lee and Wen Ning to be further distracted, and as they laid the magazine on the table, Zelda decided to lean forward and read the various articles along with SL and WN, which also caused me to almost go blind once more (she was also wearing something 'light')

C: 'OMG... Jace, just sitting here is sooo distracting... on one hand I have you looking so sian, then Bei Zi is like smiling so brightly (she was.. I dunno why) and then you have people bending over and making me go blind... aiyoh.. so difficult to do work, man.'

Jace: *smiles and reverts back to the computer screen*

Man.. today is one day full of distractions.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy

The Legends Of Zelda XVII

Hmm.

As all those who frequent Block M level 6's computer lab should know be very much aware of, most people over there have no disgression regarding how loud or irritating their music can be to the others within the vicinity.

Since this is my classic LOZ page, you can probabaly guess that Zelda is one of the worst persons to ever own a thumb drive, and on top of that, tonnes of Jay Chou songs which have Jay Chou sound like he's over-exerting his in-existant vocals abilities. I was distinctly reminded of a more mature William Hung.

In any case, thank God for Keri (her bluntness does come in useful sometimes, after all) who once told her that her music was very loud and irritating... I was gloating to myself. To be perfectly honest, I think Jay Chou is just pretty much overrated (especially by Zelda, who immediately rushes to her idol's dignity when it has been threathened):

somebody: 'Hey, turn that shit off'

Zelda: 'Hey! Jay Chou is good okay! I luuurvve Jay Chou'

Crawldaddy: *snicker*

Zelda: 'Ha, Jay Chou!' (grins in most goose-bump inducing manner, simultaneously flashes 'peace' sign)

Crawldaddy and Giant Zucchini : *turns, winces and shudders*


You get the ghizt of it, anyway. In any case, I strongly urge people who listen to Jay Chou to stop listening to that moaner and start getting your rocks off, before you get over-depressed by that shit.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy

The Legends Of Zelda XVI

(Reissued from June 8 2005)

Hmm.

Today, we had initially gathered for the Design Seminar thingie on the 2nd floor of Block Q in anticipation of entering LT Q-10. However, due to the presence of several foreign individuals (people whom I am unfamiliar with), our admittance into LT Q-10 was somewhat delayed.

For that period of time between 8:50 and 9:10 before Garry arrived, I had managed to procure a can of ice lemon tea and discovered that Alvin had arrived during my absence, and beside him was Tijah and Zelda.

Soon after, Tijah, Alvin and myself (still drinking from can) had become engaged in a loose conversation, and Zelda just hovered around the perimeters, occasionally pouncing into the conversation with either a small statement to reinforce the previous statement (notice that she does this a lot of times), or simply bursting aloud in laughter. This is the sort of behaviour which justifies the (many) reason(s) why I am writing this post... She is just damn irritating.

As I was wearing a shirt provided by the pub, which had three illustrations in the order of left to right: a big "I", a pint of guinness and a three-leaf clover. If anybody has the least amount of sense, they might interpret this sequence of 'icons' as the sentence: 'I Love Guinness' or 'I c(love)r Guinness'.

However, upon noticing this perculiar t-shirt being worn by the grand master of indifference (moi), Zelda ventured forth to ask me some stupid questions something:

Z: 'What's that??!!' (pointing to icons on my shirt)

C: 'It's just a simple t-shirt design' (reverts back to state of indifference by slurping on my straw)

Z: 'Yeah, but what does it mean?'

C: '...'

Z: 'Why does it have a three-leaf clover on it? Isn't a four leaf clover lucky? Why did they choose a three-leaf clover??'

C: 'Uh... dunno'

Z: 'So do you know what it means?'

C: 'I'm not sure.. it's just a t-shirt design, yeah?'


Notice that at this point in time, I'm just trying to keep my answers short so that she will not find some sort of reason to ask me more questions.. also I never looked her in the eye during the whole conversation, instead being engrossed with my can of ice lemon tea.

The ploy worked!

We proceeded up to Block M Level 6, due to some lecture hall booking problems, and we ended up in the big studio and we then awaited the task to be given to us by our lecturers.

Soon after, Zelda started some sort of attempt to try and appear smart and witty by telling a joke. I guess her joke failed altogether, because she was to only one who laughed, and I yawned ever so conspicuously, much to Alvin's approval - he gave that sort of grin which said:

"Dude... you are so evil"

Indeed I am.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy

The Legends Of Zelda XIII

(Reissued from March 10)

Hmm.

Today was a particularly weird day for myself... I forgot to do my Comm Skills assignment and did it last-minute. After Comm Skills, I managed to do go down to the workshop to help Alvin with his vase model.

So Comm Skills ended at 11:15 or so, and I reached the workshop at block R to find out that Alvin had gone to have his makan without anyone. I gave him a call, and met up with him and had lunch, or rather let him sit opposite me aned watch me eat because he had already finished by the time I had gotten out of the queue.

When we came back to the workshop, we found out that the workshop was kinda like some sort of war-zone... with bits of foam, either in chunky or powder form, strewn over every square inch of the place. Sitting there innocently was Alvin's vase model, which he had desperately tried to patch up in my absence. Did I mention the vase was Alvin's assignment?

Anyhow, besides the various seniors who were busy with their things in the workshop, there were a couple of Alvin's classmates including the infamous Zelda. The thing was that everyone was working on their MDF, a very hard manufactured wood which is a pain to cut, saw, sand or anything which involves contact with the wood.

As I surveyed the progress of the work surrounding the vase model, Zelda continued to hover in the background and kept asking Alvin funny questions. I suggested that Alvin continued to sand the wall putty, and hopefully make the surface more smoother. In the end, I had to make a custom sanding block for Alvin so as to make his job easier, and even then I did most of the sanding (which is true, mate).

After I had sanded the model and blown the dust off it with the air-gun (not the type with which you shoot birds, by the way), I passed it to Alvin so that he could putty it up. Before he applied the wall putty unto the model, he decided he wanted to use an applicator, like a bit of MDF to apply the wall putty. He eventually found one, tried to cut it down with the scroll saw, but encountered some difficulties.

The thing about the scroll saw is that the user requires some background information regarding how the machine works. The blade (as it moves rapidly up-and-down) rests against a roller, which adjusts it's distance from the blade by turning a wing nut and adjusting the distance by manual movement. Alvin couldn't even turn the darn wing nut by hand.

I just took one twist, and off it came (once again, no offense, mate).

As he was applying the wall putty, I noticed that the wall putty had become pretty congealed in some places, and I took it upon myself to mix the wall putty to a homogeneous liquid. I found an unused bit of MDF, and used it to scrape the congealed wall putty off the sides of the container and mix it with the rest of the liquid.

Then Zelda came around and started bugging us and listening to our conversation. Alvin was putty-ing the vase, while i stood there mixing the putty, which gave off a sort of funny smell, and had a viscosity and colour similar to Vanilla ice cream. That's when it all started:

Z: 'Haha! Look! Alvin's applying vanilla ice cream on to his vase! Haha!'

A: '...'

C: 'It's wall putty...'

Z: 'Yah! I... I ... I meant that he was putting wall putty on to the vase mah!'

C: 'But you said it was vanilla ice cream just now'

Z: 'he looks like he is playing with the wall putty'

C: 'he looks like he's playing tennis?' (I was just trying to make this pointless conversation more interesting)

A: 'haha..'

Z: 'No, wall putty!'

C: 'he looks like he is playing with vanilla tennis?'

Z: 'Wall putty!'

A: 'haha..'

Z: 'Hmmph!' (makes hitting motion against our head with a piece of scrap MDF).

A: 'She just doesn't get it'

(Zelda smiles self-indulgently)

C: 'She probably thinks it's a deuce now!'

Both: 'HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!'

Yes.. we're incredibly eevvirrl. I then had AutoCAD after helping Alvin with his vase, it was fun because I finished before everyone else, and just sat there playing the two latest songs Alvin and myself had recorded on Tuesday night.

As usual, their response wasn't exactly fantastic:

'Why so noisy one?'

'What kind of music is this?'

'Is that (my name) singing?'

'Is that Alvin singing?'

'How come so noisy one???'

Indeed, their taste in music is still limited to pointless, love-sick ballads designed to make me want to drown myself due to the boredom and monotony when it comes to their chinese songs.

After AutoCAD, i managed to help Alvin create a mould out of CLAY for his vase... and we exited the workshop at 6:20, tired but decidedly cheerful because Alvin has one little bit of pressure off his back, and I know he'll be treating me to lunch once more because I've been providing invaluable, envy-causing service to him. And that's only the clay.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy